Hey, friend!

A few weeks back, one of the folks at Tighten said something that stopped me in my tracks.

"I have to remember," she said, "that, just because Matt is excited about something right now, it doesn't mean he's going to be excited about it forever. Don't just drop everything for what's on his mind right now; remember the other projects we're working on that will still exist next week."

😳 Damn. That is me. Despite how many coping mechanisms I've built, how many structures I have around me, and how much therapy I've gone to, I am still a man with ADHD and it drives me. Often.

I was talking with my mentor earlier today, and he shared something really valuable about his relationship with his wife. He told me it's valuable to understand his personality type, and hers, so that in moments of conflict he can see how their needs and fears and desires influence their interactions in that moment. He can see how someone with her personality type may need one thing and someone with his personality type may need something else, and the understanding of that difference allows them to have much healthier conflict.

I'm happy to know myself. I used to be scared of knowing the bad, or frustrating, or difficult, or imperfect parts of myself, because knowing them means acknowledging them and could lead to spirals of guilt and doubt and self criticism. But I've since learned that knowing myself means giving myself grace, understanding why and how I may work differently from others, and presenting myself more honestly as I enter into new relationships--business or personal.

Knowing what makes me difficult to live with allowed me to better understand what I wanted in a partner, but also allowed me to make full well sure that she knew what she was getting into. So now when those difficulties arise, I'm still trying to be a better and more caring partner, but I don't feel as guilty because she knew I was like this and chose me anyway.

It's good to know yourself. Even if you don't always love everything you see. And maybe if other people can love you despite those things, maybe those things aren't so un-loveable after all.

What Else?